


Last Christmas

by isaidisaidso



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:16:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaidisaidso/pseuds/isaidisaidso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I hate this song so i decided to make it a modern AU multi-chapter fic.<br/>Summaries suck...Just read the first chapter, dammit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

THIS YEAR

When she woke up, the memories of last night had momentarily paralyzed her. She had done it. The one thing she had told herself she couldn't do. Again.  
She planned her escape. She could still hear his breathing so it was safe to get out of bed. She picked up all of clothes and ran to the bathroom. After some basic hygiene and maintenance, she carefully walked out of his bedroom.  
She slowly shut his bedroom door and met the eyes of a curious roommate.  
Awkward.  
She interrupted right as he was about to speak-  
"Hi" and she walked out the door.

"Bye, nice meeting you. " Murphy said after it shut.  
He walked over to his roommate's door and gave it 3 heavy handed knocks.  
"It's all clear. The bird has left the nest."  
No response.  
"Hey, you alive in there?"  
The sound of movement assured him that his friend had not met an untimely fate at the hand of some Christmas Eve strange he'd picked up last night. His job being done he was searching the fridge for breakfast when his roommate flew through the door.  
"Where is she?!?"  
"Pay attention, dude. I told you. She flew the coop"  
"How long ago?"  
"A few minutes. Why?"  
"Damn it"  
Murphy watched as his friend fell into the couch and rested his head on his hands.  
"What's the deal?"  
Bellamy replied simply,  
"That was Clarke.."

"Oh."


	2. Chapter 2

LAST YEAR 

Clarke was excited to be coming home for Christmas. She couldn't wait to see her parents and her old friends. She grew up in a large cul de sac and all of the kids had grown up together. And most importantly, the block parties were on an epic scale.   
She had just turned 21. This was the first year she wouldn't have to sneak in alcohol.   
When she drove up in her rental she noticed they were setting up for the night's festivities.   
She spent a required evening with her parents catching up. But at 8pm, the festivities started. There was dancing, drinking, games, raffles, and all of her old friends.  
She didn't think her ears would ever recover from the noises Octavia and Raven made when they saw her.  
"Clarke! I was so excited when your mom said you were coming! Tell me everything!"  
"School. Work. Some new friends. What about you guys?"  
"Same...but with boyfriends."   
"Are they coming?"  
Raven gave Octavia a look that said who goes first.  
Octavia explained first,  
"Raven is back together again with Finn."   
"Enough said."  
Raven used her meanest smile,  
"Octavia's boyfriend is scared of Bellamy."  
"That's not funny, Raven. Bellamy is overprotective and Lincoln respects that. We are meeting later."  
"Bellamy's here?"  
They both rounded on Clarke. A gleam in Octavia's eye a worried look in Raven's.  
"What am i missing?"  
"He got dumped a week ago. He is in the house. Solo-drinking."  
"He should see you while you're here. Maybe you could cheer him up."


	3. Chapter 3

LAST YEAR 

There were no lights on, but she heard the TV as she walked into the Blake's house. Clarke walked into the living room and looked at the scene in front of her. Bellamy was sprawled on the couch watching tv- with 3 bottles of alcohol and a carton of eggnog on the coffee table. She knew he wouldn't accept pity so she did the only thing she could. She got ready to give him hell with a little shit talking on the side.  
"You were supposed to be there to welcome me home- not hiding in here licking your wounds. This is sad. You used to be The Man in this neighborhood. When did you lose your balls and turn into a bitch?"  
He jumped at the first word out of her mouth, but the more she talked the bigger his smile got.  
"Did you come back with a boyfriend?"  
"No.."  
"Then what the fuck do you know about adult relationships? You can't even keep one for a month last i heard."  
"Low blow, asshole. Scoot over"  
She crashed next to him and put her head on his shoulder.  
"What are we watching?"  
"A lot less important than what we're drinking. Vodka, rum or whiskey?"  
"Which bottle has the most left?"  
"Rum."  
"Then rum it is..."  
___

Clarke woke with a jolt of fear followed by a wave of nausea and a throbbing headache. She knew what she'd done. After a few drinks, then a few shots, she had Bellamy walk her to her parents guest house. He tried to kiss her cheek goodnight and thanks to some liquid courage she went for it. She kissed him. Lightly at first. But once she was sure he was into it, she had dragged him inside. She would've been a lot less embarrassed if it was only sex. And it was great sex. But she had gotten drunk with Bellamy and told him her secret. She'd told HIM everything. Her childhood crush, adolescent fantasy and teen dream-She told him she loved him. 

The bed was empty beside her so it was a safe assumption that he didn't reciprocate her feelings. It was a shame, but she knew he wasn't into her. Just one more torch she didn't have to carry anymore.  
She was almost through the bedroom door when she heard him talking. He was sitting on her couch with his back turned to her and his cell phone in hand. His words stopped her cold.  
"She never wakes up before 10am. I should be safe talking here for now"  
"Well i didn't know my girlfriend was going to call- Did i?"  
"She wanted to make sure she was on time for Christmas dinner."  
"I don't know, man. Roma's acting like we never broke up. If she finds out about this it's going to be ugly."  
"Fuck the engagement ring. I'll return that. After the shit she pulled she'd be lucky to get a sweater."  
"I need to think about it. That's why I called you."  
Clarke could hear how upset he sounded and she knew she shouldn't listen. She was turning away when she heard him say her name.  
"Clarke? I don't know what to say about Clarke. I got ambushed." He laughed flatly.  
"Roma attacked from the front. But Clarke I didn't see coming. I don't even know how to think about her now."  
"She's my sister's friend. I've known her family for years."  
"Fuckin' A, this is messy."  
"Nah, man, I'm sneaking out."  
"I'll be nice about it."  
"Thanks, Murphy. I'll talk to you later."  
She heard him walk out..and it hurt her more than she thought was possible. The death rattle of her one night stand was the sound of a door lock clicking shut.


	4. Chapter 4

THIS YEAR 

After running out, Clarke was mentally kicking herself all morning. She knew she couldn't have anything with him.. but every time she looked at Bellamy that little girl optimism unfurled inside her. He was the only thing she had ever held out hope for. And hope was an ugly word. A scary word. She wanted him and she could be okay with that. He was loyal, smart, funny and handsome. But hope ruined that for her. Hope made her think he would want to be with her. That he saw her as more than his sister's friend, more than a neighborhood girl. Hope made her lie to herself. She refused to let herself be so weak. Tonight, at the neighborhood Christmas dinner, she would be strong. This was it. He would get out of her system. Last night was it. No hope. He wouldn't be on her mind anymore.  
She walked into her parents house with a smile,  
"Merry Christmas!! Do you need help cooking for the potluck?"  
\-----

Bellamy was still on the couch when Murphy came out of the shower.  
"Jesus, Bellamy. Have you been there this whole time? If you want her, go get her. Two strikes just means you still have a shot- and for some reason, despite the bullshit she keeps sleeping with you."  
"I don't know what to tell her."  
"I'd go with-'hi, we have known each other forever and have slept together 2 times in 2 years.. do you want to break that record'?"  
"Super helpful, Murphy. No wonder you get all the ladies."  
"You're bitchy when you're hungover. Want a bloody mary?"  
"God, yes"  
"So how did you woo your ladylove this time?"  
"Alcohol, kissing, alcohol, drunken driving, and more alcohol here."  
" you romantic bastard, you.. i need details."  
"We drank a little and I was supposed to drive her to her motel but we went to a bar. Then we got drunk and i kissed her. We ended up here and killed a bottle of whatever. Then sexy times."  
"Sexy times?"  
"My sister's PG reference to a good time. Problem?"  
"Nope. I'm into sexy times...So continue. And then?"  
"Then she snuck out"  
"Huh, definitely sends a message. You sure she likes you?"  
He thought about last year. Her drunken words of love and the heart in her eyes. Then he thought of this year. He had seen need and lust but the love wasn't there anymore.  
"I know she loved me. I don't know if she still does."


	5. Chapter 5

LAST YEAR

The Christmas Day Potluck Dinner was the end of the festivities. Clarke was outside talking to her friends when she saw her arrive.  
She had seen their reunion. She hadn't wanted to watch but something kept pulling her gaze to them. She notice how Bellamy kept his distance at first. How he seemed to keep Roma at arms length instead of holding her close. But soon enough they settled together. They seemed comfortable together. Their movements synchronized. She had to notice, they made a cute couple.  
Clarke decided that she would be upset later. It was a party. The time to nurse her bummer would come, but tonight was for everything good in the world. She spent time with everyone and she had fun mingling. She had just circled around to head back to Raven and Octavia when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned abruptly and almost ran into Bellamy.  
"Jesus Clarke." he breathed," I thought you grew out of the clutzy stuff."  
"Funny. What's up?" Clarke couldn't hide the irritation in her voice.  
"I just wanted to talk."  
He started to look around nervously and Clarke knew he was checking for Roma.  
"We aren't talking here. And honestly, I don't think we need to talk at all."  
His eyes shot down to hers immediately, "What?"  
"We. Don't. Need. To. Talk."  
"I heard you. Why not?"  
"You've got your shit to work out. I have mine. I'm going back to school tomorrow. I don't want you to drag this out and try and talk about feelings. I'm over it. Okay?"  
"Fine. You want to pretend nothing happened. Fine. I can do that." The anger and steel had crept from his voice to his eyes.  
"Something happened, okay? I am not saying it was a mistake. But it doesn't matter today and it can't matter tomorrow."  
"Why?"  
Her fury was instant and the next words might have been whispered but he felt it to his core,  
"The guy I fucked was single. You have a girlfriend. And she's coming this way."  
Clarke turned and walked away. Her heart cracked ...but dignity intact.


	6. Chapter 6

THIS YEAR

After spending all morning thinking about how last night effected her, the afternoon brought a truly horrible thought. She had tried to hide it. The feeling in the pit of her stomach. The dread edging its way to the forefront of her thoughts before being pushed back. She knew that something had to happen. And she hated making a scene. Her family, friends, and neighbors were going to witness the fallout.  
Bellamy was unpredictable. He was hot headed and his temper was explosive. Clarke knew the only way to avoid the drama was to go talk to him but she refused to be the one to seek him out. She would play it by ear. She would let herself be the smart one. The controlled one.

The potluck was uneventful. Clark spent the evening attached to Octavia and Raven. She saw Bellamy in the crowd but he never made eye contact with her and she kept telling herself that it was okay. She wanted him to ignore her. She wanted it to be over. SHe wanted to believe herself when she lied to herself. 

Octavia tried 3 times to get Clarke's attention before finally resorting to putting her hand on both of her friends' shoulders and shaking her,  
"Earth to CLARKE!!"  
Subtlety was overrated in Octavia's handbook.  
"What?!?"  
"Okay, Clarke, your present is still at the house in my room. Come on, let's go get it."  
"Fine, fine"  
Clarke knew that Octavia would never leave her alone until she agreed. And, honestly, she needed to get out of the crowd.

What she didn't need and should have expected was Bellamy sitting on Octavia's bed when she opened the door. 

He smiled when he saw them and stood up.

"Thanks, O." He nodded in Clarke's direction, "I didn't know how else to get her here."  
"No prob, Bell." Octavia smiled at them both, "Handle your shit- But nothing- NOTHING- happens on my bed"  
Octavia shut the door loudly on her way out.  
There was an awkward moment of silence before Clarke burst out, "What the fuck, Bellamy?"  
He shrugged, "I wanted to talk to you and I figured this was the only way you would talk back."  
"SO TALK."  
"Why did you leave this morning?"  
"Why? Did you want me to stay there?"  
"Why wouldn't I want you there? I worked fucking hard to get you.Why would I want you gone?"  
"Worked hard to get me?!? What the fuck are you talking about?"  
"I called you 5 times this last year. I left 3 messages.I lost track of the emails and texts. You wouldn't respond. Then you come home and you wouldn't look at me until you had a drink last night. I waited. Fucking patiently. I waited for you to look."  
"Why?"  
"Because you said you loved me!" he said it like an accusation, "then you made it seem like it didn't matter. You wouldn't even talk to me."  
"Maybe it's because I hate shit like this! Which. You. Know. We've been friends since before we knew we were friends. You know me. If you wanted us to be together it would've happened."  
"It can't happen if you keep running A-fucking-WAY!!  
Her eyes widened and her voice was small, "wait...what?"  
"I've wanted this since I knew I could have it. It's been a year. A year I have waited for you. A year I have been faithful to you. I waited a year just to see you again. I waited a year just to see if this was possible."  
Hope sprang from her chest and she immediately squashed it with derision, "You have been celibate for year? fucking doubtful."  
"I kept thinking you'd call. I kept thinking I'd see you. I'm not a liar, Clarke. You know me better than that."  
She knew she had lost the fight. She had tried to hold herself back but this...this was Bellamy.  
"So, if I'm getting this right, you want to be with me?"  
Clarke punctuated the statement with a smile.  
Bellamy was on her in a second. His arms wrapped around her. His face in her hair. She felt his lips on her neck then she heard him whisper,  
"I've been with you. I don't want to be without you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and that's it folks. My computer died twice so this took forever. Hope you liked it. 
> 
> Let me know if i need a new hobby, k?


End file.
